US Kamala Harris buys Joe Biden Bungee Jumping & Sky Diving tickets, to celebrate Inauguration As the momentous moment approaches of Trump leaving the White House, and Jo Biden replacing him, Vice President-Elect Kamala Harris intends to help the 78-year-old successor to celebrate with a bang - and a shock, and a thud.
USA Joe Biden finalizes inauguration speech, 'Ode to CornPop' In his inaugural address, President-Elect Joe Biden plans to lay out the vision for America's future, by telling the tail of the man who shaped his past.
USA Melania Trump to compete for land speed record, in "World's Fastest Divorce" It's inauguration day 2021, with more than one Trump era today set to possibly end. It's long been rumoured that the Trumps have had a loveless, faux marriage - and with America today getting its chance to break from Donald, Melania may soon be taking hers.
USA NRA finally crushes gigantic threat to American freedom - by declaring bankruptcy After decades of rigging America's political landscape, with the deadliest & most tragic consequences - all in the name of their corporate owners - the NRA has finally achieved its stated goal of defending American freedom. By going bust.
US Simpsons Predicts US Politics - Again After the shocking events last week at the US capitol, that for four years everyone with a brain saw coming, The Simpsons have once again demonstrated their uncanny ability to predict exactly how US politics will be as unfunny and depressing as the show currently is.
2020 BREAKING: Obama CALLS Wisconsin for Biden, asks it to drop out of the race Election 2020 - We can confirm that Barack Obama has indeed called the state of Wisconsin for Biden, and asked it to step out of the race, to let Joe take the W.
2020 USA prepares for DECISIVE election between 'Trump' & 'System That Gave Us Trump' Election Day 2020 - polls across the USA have opened, in what centrists are claiming is clearly and unequivocally the most important election of our, neigh, of any lifetime, between the two bitter and barefaced enemies, of: "Trump" and "The System that gave us Trump".
Satire Trump's medical team assembles "world-class group of plumbers", to begin round-the-clock bleach injections With the health of the president continuing to sink even faster than his poll numbers, Trump's medical team is pulling out all the stops, and has assembled a world class group of plumbers to begin administering round the clock bleach injections, in hopes of fending off the coronavirus.
Satire Mike Pence's erection "visible from space", as Trump is admitted to hospital The on going saga of top GOP officials experiencing critical lapses in health continues, as, following the news that President Trump has been admitted to hospital with a rapidly worsening condition, Vice President Mike Pence's erection is now clearly visible from outer space.
Satire "In Karma We Trust" now new US motto, as Trump tests positive for Coronavirus In one of the craziest flexes of 2020, the Covid-Denier-In-Chief himself, President Trump has announced that he has finally made coronavirus great again, by testing positive for the deadly disease, himself.
2020 Proud Boys: "Stand back and stand by, whilst I have your brown shirts dry-cleaned", Trump tells Hate Group In one of the most surprising turns of 2020's first presidential debate last night, Donald Trump sent a message to the far-right, addressing the self-described 'western-chauvinists' hate group the Proud Boys, telling them to "stand back and stand by, whilst I have your brown shirts dry-cleaned."
Satire Nobel Prize in Chemistry awarded for whatever fucked up cocktail Joe Biden's swilling for tonight's debate The Nobel Prize for Chemistry has been awarded for whatever fucked up chemical cocktail has been cooked up to keep Joe Biden awake, for tonight's first presidential debate.
Satire FinCEN Papers: Tom Nook laundering billions for ISIS & Taliban etc, releases find Noted ruthless oligarch and furry cartoon animal Tom Nook has been found to be a major money launderer for some of the world's most dangerous and bloodthirsty terrorist groups, details in the recent FinCEN papers show.
US Biden appoints noted Spanish speaker Justin Bieber as Latino Communications Director Joe Biden has appointed Latino scholar and noted Spanish linguist Justin Bieber as his Hispanic Communications Director, his 2020 campaign has announced.
Science Possible "Signs of Alien Life" Discovered on Venus An international team of scientists has discovered what could be signs of alien life, in the atmosphere of the planet Venus.
US WARNING: "Russians definitely interfering with this election, and any other we might happen to lose 🤷♂️", claim Centrist Democrats Centrist Democrats made shocking revelations today claiming that they have undeniable, but unfortunately right now unshowable proof, that in the case that Joe Biden looses in November, the 2020 election will have been severely compromised by Russian Intelligence.
USA Biden promises to crack down on Gender Reveal Parties, in bid to tackle Climate Change In a powerful bid that appeals to absolutely no one, Joe Biden pledges to crack down on gender reveal parties, in an attempt to calm and appease the nation, as huge portions of it are literally on fucking fire.
USA "Football Protests are fine, when it's us booing racial unity", clarify white Trump supporters The conservatives of America kept their unbroken, perfect season-record of being totally lecherous pieces of shit going at the first NFL game of the season, when supporters in the stands booed a moment of 'racial unity' between players.
9/11 9/11: US prepares for solemn anniversary of that time Ted Cruz tweeted Incest Porn Today, once again, America prepares for the solemn anniversary of one of the most heinous and terrifying parts of its history. A day that will live in infamy, and for many, in therapy - that time on 9/11-2017 that Ted Cruz liked a tweet about incest porn.
2020 Herman Cain dies of Covid-19 Former Republican Presidential candidate, and former CEO of Godfather's Pizza, Herman Cain, has died from coronavirus.
2020 BREAKING: Trump suggests DELAYING 2020 election In a recent tweet, Donald Trump has suggested delaying the 2020 general election in November.
Satire Experts warn second-wave of viral plagues could see your Ex come crawling back With the early ending of lockdowns around the world, health officials are warning that a resurgence of deadly viral plagues could see your ex trying to come crawling back.
Satire Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro tests positive for being a Cunt He displayed all the classic symptoms - high fever, coughing, slashing key services, crushing civil rights, practically declaring a war on Indigenous people, and coming to power in a political coup.
Satire Female soldiers to dress as foreign oil fields, so the Army actually gives a shit about protecting them As the search for missing Army Spc. Vanessa Guillen has led, after many days of stagnant delay, to the discovery of human remains in a shallow grave, female American soldiers are to dress as foreign oil fields, so the military actually gives a shit about protecting them.