2020

A collection of 39 posts

2020

BREAKING: Obama CALLS Wisconsin for Biden, asks it to drop out of the race

Election 2020 - We can confirm that Barack Obama has indeed called the state of Wisconsin for Biden, and asked it to step out of the race, to let Joe take the W.

2020

USA prepares for DECISIVE election between 'Trump' & 'System That Gave Us Trump'

Election Day 2020 - polls across the USA have opened, in what centrists are claiming is clearly and unequivocally the most important election of our, neigh, of any lifetime, between the two bitter and barefaced enemies, of: "Trump" and "The System that gave us Trump".

Satire

Trump's medical team assembles "world-class group of plumbers", to begin round-the-clock bleach injections

With the health of the president continuing to sink even faster than his poll numbers, Trump's medical team is pulling out all the stops, and has assembled a world class group of plumbers to begin administering round the clock bleach injections, in hopes of fending off the coronavirus.

Satire

Mike Pence's erection "visible from space", as Trump is admitted to hospital

The on going saga of top GOP officials experiencing critical lapses in health continues, as, following the news that President Trump has been admitted to hospital with a rapidly worsening condition, Vice President Mike Pence's erection is now clearly visible from outer space.

Satire

"In Karma We Trust" now new US motto, as Trump tests positive for Coronavirus

In one of the craziest flexes of 2020, the Covid-Denier-In-Chief himself, President Trump has announced that he has finally made coronavirus great again, by testing positive for the deadly disease, himself.

2020

Proud Boys: "Stand back and stand by, whilst I have your brown shirts dry-cleaned", Trump tells Hate Group

In one of the most surprising turns of 2020's first presidential debate last night, Donald Trump sent a message to the far-right, addressing the self-described 'western-chauvinists' hate group the Proud Boys, telling them to "stand back and stand by, whilst I have your brown shirts dry-cleaned."

Satire

Nobel Prize in Chemistry awarded for whatever fucked up cocktail Joe Biden's swilling for tonight's debate

The Nobel Prize for Chemistry has been awarded for whatever fucked up chemical cocktail has been cooked up to keep Joe Biden awake, for tonight's first presidential debate.

US

Biden appoints noted Spanish speaker Justin Bieber as Latino Communications Director

Joe Biden has appointed Latino scholar and noted Spanish linguist Justin Bieber as his Hispanic Communications Director, his 2020 campaign has announced.

US

WARNING: "Russians definitely interfering with this election, and any other we might happen to lose 🤷‍♂️", claim Centrist Democrats

Centrist Democrats made shocking revelations today claiming that they have undeniable, but unfortunately right now unshowable proof, that in the case that Joe Biden looses in November, the 2020 election will have been severely compromised by Russian Intelligence.

USA

Biden promises to crack down on Gender Reveal Parties, in bid to tackle Climate Change

In a powerful bid that appeals to absolutely no one, Joe Biden pledges to crack down on gender reveal parties, in an attempt to calm and appease the nation, as huge portions of it are literally on fucking fire.

USA

"Football Protests are fine, when it's us booing racial unity", clarify white Trump supporters

The conservatives of America kept their unbroken, perfect season-record of being totally lecherous pieces of shit going at the first NFL game of the season, when supporters in the stands booed a moment of 'racial unity' between players.

2020

Herman Cain dies of Covid-19

Former Republican Presidential candidate, and former CEO of Godfather's Pizza, Herman Cain, has died from coronavirus.

2020

BREAKING: Trump suggests DELAYING 2020 election

In a recent tweet, Donald Trump has suggested delaying the 2020 general election in November.

Satire

Donald Trump no longer the craziest Motherfucker in politics

Donald Trump is no longer the craziest motherfucker in politics, as Kanye West announces he's running for president.

Satire

North Korea to switch from Nuclear Weapons to Music Industry, from now on

North Korea has announced that it will immediately pull funding from its nuclear weapons program and instead start investing millions of dollars in its music industry, after surprising news reached the nation that Pres. Trump's Tulsa rally humiliation was engineered by thousands of teen K-Pop fans.

Satire

Joe Biden picks Token Black from South Park for VP

Despite his promise to nominate a woman, as well as an actual real life human being, Joe Biden has announced his pick for VP on his 2020 ticket as the fictional character from South Park, Token Black.

Bernie Sanders

Bernie Sanders sent to hospital, undergoes unexpected Surgery on Artery

Bernie Sanders underwent surgery yesterday to implant two arterial stents, after complaining of chest pains during a Nevada campaign event. The Senator is said to be conversing and is in good spirits. This is a breaking story, and there is expected to be more over the coming days.

2020

Billionaire enters Democratic Primary 🙄 Threatens entire race going to Trump

Another day in American politics, another billionaire thinking they can and should decide democracy's fate whilst threatening its very existence. Sigh.

US Featured

Man Down: Eric Swalwell (Who?) is first candidate to drop out of Democratic Primary | 2020

And then there were 24 - the 2020 Democratic Primary gets its first notable dropout, from this centrist candidate.

Biden

Biden Plummets 10 Points After Debate | Poll

A new poll details how the candidates did in the Democratic debates - it's good news for some, bad and potentially terrible news for others. Find the analysis here at Polerium on Facebook, and via @polerium on Twitter.

Joe Biden

Biden is Over - He will drop in the polls by September | Prediction

My Prediction - Biden will drop majorly in the polls by September. The long predicted pracks in his campaign have now appeared, and the signs of his demise are here. Read the analysis of how it could happen, at Polerium.

US

Beginning Of The End - Joe Biden Looses his first Big Donor after Recent Mistakes | More Expected to Follow

Joe Biden has lost his first mega donor. In my opinion, it's the beginning of the end. Find out the analysis at Polerium.

Bernie Sanders

STUNNING: Hours After Meeting with Bernie Sanders, Walmart CEO Calls for Higher Federal Minimum Wage

In a stunning turn around to years of stallwart policy, Walmart's CEO has called for Congress to raise the federal minimum wage. Less than a day after meeting with Bernie Sanders. Find out the details at Polerium.

Beto O'Rourke

BREAKING: Beto O'Rourke Outraises BERNIE SANDERS and ALL other Presidential Candidates with his First Day Haul of $6.1mill

Beto O'Rourke has SMASHED the fundraising record - to the surprise of everyone on the left - with a huge $6.1 mill haul on his first day, according to his campaign. Find out the details, at Polerium.

Bernie

Bernie Sanders' 2020 Campaign Kickoff Rally - Live from Brooklyn

Bernie Sanders officially kicked of his 2020 campaign today with a massive rally in Brooklyn - his home town. It was a progressive powerhouse, with several rousing speeches of endorsement and thousands in attendance. Find out the details, at Polerium.