Donald Trump is no longer the craziest motherfucker in politics, as Kanye West announces he's running for president.

Many are sceptical as to whether the bid is real, but Kanye and his wife Kim Kardashian are expected to release a video message with further details in an upcoming sex tape.

Kanye has of course already caused quite a stir in politics, with his high profile support of the incumbent arsehole, Donald Trump, surprising many in America. The well-publicised friendship has been divisive for music fans right across the country, yet a heralding moment for arrogant twats, everywhere.

"When I first heard of Kanye West, and didn't know much about him, I thought he was completely crazy," said conservative strategist Paul Dankiss, "I was right."

"An egomaniacle crazy billionaire that demands cult-like obedience, who's an immeasurably massive fan of Donald Trump? It's perfect. He's a stone's throw away from actually being Donald Trump, himself. He could play well thus with the rank-and-file."

But some Republican Party voters have been pensively questioning his suitability for the role:

"He's black."

remarked longtime GOP voter/The Hills Have Eyes extra, Joe Mankeen. "Look, one thing is clear, I'm definitely not a racist - but fuck all non-white people. Our culture isn't safe with one of them in power - we just wanna grow corn & go fishing, burn down black churches, and marry our sisters in peace. A white/orange president will protect that. With Trump in power, I know my sister-wife will be happy, my son-nephews will be safe, and I'll be able to chew tobacco, fly my flag and have my affair with my cousin-mother, freely."

Other Republican voters had more tactical-based objections. "The last black guy to be president managed to be a war criminal, a corporate serving jackbooter, and a brown-person killing machine - all whilst remaining popular! He was making us look bad! We can't allow another one in to beat us at our own game."

Remarking on the announcement herself, White House senior adviser Kellyanne Conway told reporters that, "the president told me from his safe space bunker that he definitely doesn't feel threatened from his friend Mr West. Instead, he hopes he joins us. We feel he could be great at boosting the president's campaign efforts in the field, or at convincing members of the House to vocally back our bid. Thus, we think he'd be great working for us as either a field hand or a House hand."

Many in the political-punditry class/anyone tired of 2020's bullshit have been dismissive of the potential run. However, since Donald Trump's most impressive and important accomplishment is Kim Kardashian convincing him to release several unjustly sentenced non-violent prisoners, and with zero rape allegations and no war crimes on his hands, so far a Kanye ticket is actually looking somewhat appealing to American voters, during the hellscape that is US politics.

Asked on whether the rapper and clothes designer was right to way into such an important race, Democratic presumptive-nominee Joe Biden said it was "ridiculous and outrageous," in a statement to reporters, "that a black person voiced their opinion in politics, without my express permission." On the question of whether Mr West, as a notable black figure, could siphon away crucial POC votes, Mr Biden assured key supporters, whilst rubbing his hands, that all he has to do is "not support me" for a while, "and he won't be black for long."

However just to be on the safe side, Joe Biden plans to tighten up his support among black music fans by soon releasing his own a mumble-rap album, composed of extracts from his latest speeches and TV appearances.


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