Sauron the Deceiver to win Biggest Middle-Earth Majority since Morgoth
Sauron seems to have somehow won the largest majority in the Middle Earth parliament for an age, gaining a huge show of support from the dwarves and elves he intends to devour.
Early exit polls indicate that Sauron seems to have somehow won the largest majority in the Middle-Earth parliament for an age, gaining a huge show of support from the dwarves and elves he intends to devour.
After nine years in power, the Mordor Party's message of "people deserve better" hnas resonated... somehow seeming to result in their re-election.
"It's extremely gratifying to see this land protect the futures of the people - by rejecting the manifesto of the people, and instead backing our agenda" a wide eyed and frothing at the mouth Lord of the Shadow has said in a statement.
"Everybody knows that our party is the best bet for guarding the economic interests of ordinary voters" he added, as hordes of dragons could be seen gathering in the background, at Mordor Party HQ.
We spoke to one Rohan blue-paldrined voter, on the results: "I'm just glad we got the leader of the opposition out, that weird, tweed wearing Hobbit fellow - I hated him. He was the real scary danger to our livelihoods" he said, as fire-eye-crested trolls and giants were seen in the distance, rushing towards the Rohan homes and public buildings.
"Plus, we're going to finally get rid of all those bloody foreigners, and get MExit done. No more of those both highly-skilled and uselessly lazy fellowships coming in here and stealing all our jobs of defeating the invading hordes and stopping terrorists."
In response to the final question on what would be his government's top priority, the newly empowered overruler said:
"We're going to give these people what they desparetly want and what we feel they deserve: three new Hobbit movies."
#Newsgate #Polerium #Satire