VICTORY: Protestors achieve MAJOR defunding of police, by changing department names to 'teachers' and 'covid-19 supplies' on government invoices

Despite the dip in coverage of the Black Lives Matter protests, American BLM protesters & leftists have achieved their goals of majorly defunding police departments around the country, by changing the recipient-name on the government invoices to 'teachers' and 'covid-19 supplies'.

The cuts, putting police on par with where educators, local health providers, and other societal-essentials have been for an age, have been well received by campaigners, with experts labelling them as 'significant enough to make the service almost utterly worthless - a joke and a cruelty in the modern world'.

Police have now been informed that they're going to have to start supplementing their supplies with stuff paid for out of their own wages, or by making things they use, themselves. Rolled up magazines for batons, their own home-supply of marijuana for planting evidence, and a continuation of their practice of manufacturing charges.

One police commissioner even warned that some officers may have to help supplement the uniform stocks by bringing in some of their spare brown shirts and white robes, from home.

Teachers and other front-line services on the other hand have seen a ginormous increase in funding & availability of supplies, with much of the equipment swapped in straight from the police departments. Mr Jones, principle at a local high school for example, was pleased to see their old school vehicle, which they fondly named their 'Magic School Bus' replaced with an M113 Armoured Personnel Carrier, equipped with a 0.5 calibre M2 Browning Machine Gun, 28-44mm aluminium armour for incendiary attacks, and a large interior holding space for naughty or truant kids.

Mark Jacobs & Dr Beverly Ford, nurse and doctor at the local emergency treatment centre, were pleased to see refurbishments, too. "Usually we're short staffed, and these literal trash-bags we're wearing to shield us against covid don't offer us much protection. However, now, whenever we get an old lady complaining of the wait in ER, a full squad of poorly-educated riot gear wielders is able to mobilise and get on her ass in seconds," Mr Jacobs remarked. "Plus, these warrentless, undocumented wire-taps we've gotten are far superior at hearing stuff than our old, dated stethoscopes ever were."

"Personally," Dr Ford added, "I'm just really looking forward to finally being able to ramp up our covid screening in the worst hit communities, neighbourhoods of colour unfortunately, via our new, absolutely unlimited, 'Stop, Frisk & Test' policy."

Developers planning to renovate local schools and foster-care facilities with the police money noted however that many of the interiors "already looked like full blown prison cells". And though such similarities to holding facilities were common, many noted that the kitchen facilities and the food quality at the schools were often a darn sight worse.

Some local officials noted in fact that the transformation from a school to police-style look might not be needed at all. Since, he said, for many of the poorer kids, those of minority backgrounds, those with mental illnesses or from troubled homes, society had already built a state of the art, no-expenses spared pipeline straight to the prison system, just for them.

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